Paz Josefzon From Tough Love to Self-Compassion

Ben BeeriWhat's up, everyone? Welcome to the Authentic Journey. I'm really excited to introduce today's guest to you, Paz Josefzon. What I love about Paz is he's a good friend of mine, and we always have a great conversation about self development, self discovery, and just really how we can remain grounded through all these different phases of our lives. Paz, it's so great to have you on. Thank you. It's great to be here. Anything been on your mind lately, Paz? Yeah.

Paz JosefzonFunny you ask. This week, I deep dove and decided just to Audible a book. Um, it's called it's something like Children of Emotionally Unavailable Parents. And I decided to deep dive into it because last Friday, I had one of my employees kind of blow up on me and she goes, you have major control issues. I can't work with this anymore. And it was a shock to me and completely threw me for a spin because I realized in my company, had a higher turnover rate. I fired a lot of people and I would get the same complaints over and over and I would think everyone's at fault. Obviously it's not me. It's everyone's crazy. Right?

And I don't know why from this specific employee, she just nailed it so well that she shook me to my core. And the whole weekend, was like, fuck. I am one of my parents. I am treating my employees like how I was treated. And I was like, this is not good. Like, I was full, anxiety, contemplating life. I was like, like, I need like, something needs to change. Like, this is horrific. And how the universe works, I go to Universe works. I mean, the universe works. I'm driving to temple one day, I'm going to go into the service. And I'm outside.

It's like 7AM. Usually, I'm pretty pumped. I want to get connected, and I want to go on by my day. And I'm just so sad. I'm just sad. So I go and chat GPT. Was like, What? Blah, blah, Recommends a book. I go to service. I leave. I like, You know what? I'm not going to work today. The whole day I drove to the beach, the Kenyans, freeway, anywhere and just listened. And as I'm listening to this book, I feel validated, I felt heard, but I felt incredibly afraid and scared. And what I realized was I was feeling a lot of these repressed feelings that I never got to express as a child. And I think being validated allowed me for these emotions to arise.

And, you know, growing up when I was a young kid, had anxiety attacks, and I had a binging issue, and I was, like, eighty pounds heavier than what I am now. And I always thought, like, you know, is it why is it exciting? You get medication, and then you think it's this, and you think it's that. And you always look at surface, it's like, why am I binging? It's because I'm no discipline. And it's like, no. No. No. No. No. No. A lot of these root issues, from my personal experience, is your inner child wanting to be heard, and it comes out through an anxiety attack, through a depressive disorder, through anger, through fear, through addiction.

A lot of that stuff is repressed emotion. Yeah, that's what I've been going through this week, and I've definitely been learning a lot. It's awesome. So you kinda get to revisit.

Ben BeeriI I wouldn't say revisit. That's not the right word. You get to kind of sit there and honor your inner child and who he was and he who still lives kind of within you today and kind of,

Paz Josefzonlike, help guide him forward? You know, I wouldn't say honor from my experience. Not that I don't honor him. It's that I finally understand and validate him. In my experience, I felt like I was crazy. Right? Like, you know, I I I noticed that I would chase external validation to make sure that I'm safe, I'm secure, I'm this, I'm that, to kind of see how I'm behaving. People like me, I'm good. People don't like me, I'm bad. Right? And I realized throughout all this I've been on this personal self development journey for years now, but especially the past few days or the past week, I realized a lot of healing or integrating, whatever it may be, having an understanding of why you are the way you are, why you see the world the way that it is, and why some parts of it, the negative parts of it, are wrong.

And I think just having that understanding is the cure or remedy to heal.

Ben BeeriSo it's almost like you're kind of giving yourself new ideas or, like, new thoughts about a reality that's already existed.

Paz JosefzonYeah. Yeah. I think it's being seen, and I think it's the way that I the way that ICE interpreters see it, it's that that reality that that had already existed, I didn't see I didn't see the truth. I just saw the mask. Right? So I would only see the negative parts and not the positive, which was wrong and cause a lot of pain and suffering for sure.

Ben BeeriThat's great. Now you're kind of like, hey. Like, you get to be kinder to yourself.

Paz JosefzonYou know, I'm still working on being kinder to myself. I'm still learning how to do that and what that looks like. And I find in my personal experience, what really helps me, because I tend to model others, so I like to read a lot of books and I try to be around people who are kind to themselves, or YouTube videos where people are kind to themselves, and learn what is that? What is being kind? Because up until this point, literally this point, this week, I thought being kind to myself was giving myself tough love, hard truth, and pointing out all my flaws and working on those flaws.

But that's the opposite of what being kind to yourself is. And although that worked to take me from point A to point B, point B to point C requires a different skill set, and that's compassion. And that's focusing on what I want, not what I don't want. I love that. What I was saying before is that I pause and I hesitate at times because when I'm in a serious conversation or in deep thought even with friends, family, employees, I pause a lot to make sure that I'm expressing my thoughts and emotions clearly.

Because I don't want to just talk and just talk to talk and just react. Sometimes I feel that I need to stop and make sure that I'm being authentic in my response, I'm not just trying to respond in a way that's either going to, quote unquote, help my ego or just knee jerk reaction. So that's what I meant. But it's funny you say the authentic thing because I hesitate to bring this up because I don't want it to feel forced. Not that it's forced, but I'll bring it up and we'll see where it goes. I obviously, if we went at the Kabbalah Center, there's the spiritual route.

Speaking of a personal journey, spirituality obviously plays a huge role, but I think at the same time, also plays a really big role is not only spirituality, it's also logic and emotions and what are we really experiencing, not just conceptual things, which obviously there is truth behind spirituality, but things you can actually materialize and see. And I don't know if you can relate to this at all, but I just listened to a book. It's called The Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. No, haven't. I've been reading it or sorry, listening to it, and something that came up for me through reading this too, it's that I feel inclined to share this. Because am I the only one that, like, feels that everyone's out to get you?

Like like, unsafe in the world?

Ben BeeriI think in a way, people come off as I don't want to use the word out to get you, but it's almost like it's almost like other people know what your triggers are, and they specifically press the trigger button. So it's like, hey, I see Ben today. I know that this triggers Ben. Press the button type of thing. And I'm sitting there going like, how did this person like, it's almost like that person knew that that would trigger me. But it's like, they're all just lessons I need to learn. So it's like, and you were experiencing the same thing. Everybody else out there is, like, experiencing people around them that it's like, hey, this person's just out here to trigger me. This person's out here to get me. This person's out here to do this, but it's all just designed for your own growth. It's like, kind of like, hey, snap, escape the matrix.

Like, there's no like, it's all an illusion. Like, it's all an illusion that's designed to get you onto your path and your highest timeline.

Paz JosefzonDo you feel like you get that a lot where people are, like, constantly triggering you? Is that, like, a a daily thing in your experience?

Ben BeeriLike, I'll come across things, and I think what I've been trying to do lately is try to be as conscious as possible as to what's going on and say, ah, okay. There is a reason why this particular thing just happened. What am I to learn? Like, what do I need to learn from this? Like, what am I meant to learn from this? Like, why does this keep coming up?

Paz JosefzonYou know, it's interesting you say that because I find in my experience, there's there's that surface level surface level trigger. Right? So let's say it's like you get the you know, you get triggered from these, like, same things. Like, what is it? And then you realize there's, like, a deeper root to it. So for instance, right? It's like and this is like I'll I'll get to my point, but it's kind of like, you know, one day you have chocolate ice cream, like, I'm triggered, and one day you have vanilla ice cream, like, I'm triggered, and one day you have pistachio, like, I'm triggered. Like, why do keep why does this ice cream trigger me? It's like, can I cuss on this? You can say whatever the fuck you want. Oh. And it's like, motherfucker, you can't even have ice cream. That's why you're being triggered. Like, don't eat ice cream. And I realized it because, like, the whole trigger thing and the whole, you know, thing, like, everything comes in to teach you a lesson, to tell you something. It's like, for so long, I'm like, yeah. Yeah. Uh-huh. And I'm like, woah, woah, woah, woah. I feel unsafe in the world.

I feel vulnerable. I feel scared. I feel worried. And it manifests emotionally. It manifests physically. It manifests spiritually. It manifests in lawsuits. It manifests in poor relationships. It manifests in sabotaging relationships. And it's like it just hit me this week. I was like, woah. I feel incredibly unsafe in this world. And I'm like, why? And I'm like, oh, the way I was raised. And here's the thing. I realized that it's not and I and I really hesitate to say this because I love my parents so much, and they're my best friends, and I'm always gonna respect them. And no discredit to them. They've raised me the best way that they could, and, like, you know, I don't wanna I wanna defend them all day long. But then I realized at the same point, it's like you can hold two truths at once. You can desperately love your parents and the way that you were raised and the way that you grew up, but you can also love and defend yourself. It's not either or. And I find myself internally constantly

being like, wait, like, this didn't feel right, but no, no, no, blah, blah. But then I abandoned myself. Right? So, yeah, I mean, that's been like a a major thing for me this week, and I feel like sharing that authentically because I think sometimes when we look at things that trigger us, there's like a root that they were dancing around. And sometimes, not sometimes, mean, this is like a Tony Robbins thing. Lot of people talk about this. It's humans prefer familiarity because that's what's safe, but it's like that familiarity can be toxic as hell and make you uncomfortable.

And I think a big success or not a big success. I think a big or the best way to live your authentic self is to get really uncomfortable.

Ben BeeriIt's interesting. And I mean, you talk about your parents and loving your parents and honoring your parents and who they were And who they are. And who they are, who they were when you raised you, who they are today, and just who they are as people. It's interesting to think about because, I mean, I believe that we have soul contracts. I believe that we chose our parents to be able to get ourselves on the highest timeline that we could get ourselves on. And it's not always sunshine and rainbows.

And on the flip side, it's also not always sunshine and rainbows for them, like, you as a kid. Like, I mean, I remember, like, going back to my childhood, I don't, like, I didn't have an easy time with my parents, but I was their oldest son. And I also can imagine that there were times where it was challenging for them to raise me. They're like, what the hell am I going to do with Ben? And I was going through school. I was struggling with school. It wasn't for me. I didn't fit in the school system.

And we have teachers, counselors, principals coming from the school and going to my parents like, hey, we're having issues with Ben. Ben is disruptive in our classes. He does not get along with the other kids. And all of that was, I mean, evident, like, for me, for them. Like, I didn't have friends growing up going to school. I didn't like the other kids. I didn't fit in with the other kids. I didn't feel like I was like them. Like, I would go into kindergarten. And I remember every morning in kindergarten, I would bring a newspaper to school and I was a basketball fan. I liked NBA basketball.

And I would read the standings and the scores of the previous night of NBA basketball. This was before cell phones and ESPN apps where you could just up, score. Okay. This team It wasn't that in the nineties? There wasn't cell phones? I I know. I know. Right? Well, for for me, for me, school was the early two thousands. Kindergarten was the early two thousands. Old are you? I'm 30 years old. Yeah. Yeah. And I would bring the newspaper to school in kindergarten. I did not know how to read yet because I hadn't learned how to read in We I learned how to read, I believe, in first grade.

And but I was able to memorize the three digit codes of, like, the cities of each basketball team. So I knew the Warriors were GSW. The Lakers were LAL. The Clippers were LAC. Dallas Mavericks were DAL. It was the three letter city codes that I could memorize. So I could identify the standings based off of the numbers. W is the win column. L is the lost And I also got to, like, kind of understand the patterns. It's like, okay. Bryant and the number of points is Kobe. Iverson and the number of points is Allen Iverson. How many points did Kobe have? How many points did Allen Iverson have? O'Neil is Shaq.

How many points does Shaquille O'Neal have? And and, like, I could just go and, like, read the box scores and read the standings. And I'm in kindergarten and I'm interested in that. And the other kids, like, they want to play pretend shit with toys. Like, oh, okay. Like, my Barbie is riding an airplane or whatever it is. It's like, okay. That's like your imagination. Like, I'm not here to pretend. Like, it just wasn't for me when I was growing up. And I didn't fit in at all. And looking back at it, I sit there and I think it's like, is that the goal? Like, are we meant to fit in or are we meant to just be ourselves?

And it's interesting to think about because what do your parents think about that? And I think that a part of them is like, hey, we want Ben to have friends. We want Ben to fit in because those are the societal norms. That is what like, and they now think about it as parents. They may want to fit in with the other parents who have kids that are their age. Like, sit there and you think about, like, a community. Right? You move into a community, you live in a community. There are other people there, other families there, they have kids.

Right? Europe, like the parents are part of the community. Like, hey, our kids go to school together. Yeah. Um, and I remember my parents weren't really a part of the community. Like they weren't really close with any of the other parents, like family, friends. And I remember really just struggling to like connect with people. And as I progressed through school up until like whatever inflection point I had to where I ended up getting kicked out of middle school and struggling in high school and going through all these things, like it could not, like, I can now look at things and understand that it likely wasn't easy for my parents raising me as a child.

And I can honor that. And I can also honor myself and know that, like, for me, it wasn't easy being raised by my parents in the way that I was raised, but I can take a look at things and see it's like, Hey, they did the best they could within what they knew and the capacity that they had as parents.

Paz JosefzonThat's really good. That's really interesting because, you know, I would spend so much time thinking of, like, I guess playing victim. I spent a lot of my life playing victim, and even now I think I play victim. And I think you just called it out because you go, well, how was it like for them raising me? And it's not about shifting blame or being like, I was a bad kid or I was this or I was that, but I think it's really important to look at other people's perspective and seeing how did you affect them. Even if they're your parents, they're still people. Right? Like, I think oftentimes I'll speak for myself. I think oftentimes, I expect my parents to be perfect and amazing and everything I wanted them to be and so on and so forth. And I and I huff and I puff and I go, well, they're like this, then I would have been like this. And, well, if they did this, then I would feel safe. It's like, at what point do you take responsibility and accountability for your life in a way that honors your parents and it honors yourself and it honors your growth process? And to your point, it's like you chose your parents. If you want go down the spiritual path, chose your parents. If you don't believe in that,

it's still your responsibility to overcome it. And I think the beautiful thing is I'll reference Tony Robbins again because he has a few powerful quotes that really stuck out to me. He's like, If I had the mother that I wanted, I wouldn't have become the man that I'm proud of. And I think oftentimes it's the journey of becoming the person that we wish we would have had growing up or the person that we're proud of is the most satisfying thing. Know?

Ben BeeriThe journey of becoming the person we wish we had growing up. Yeah. That's fucking powerful.

Paz JosefzonYeah. Thank you. And that's been my whole thing. Right? Like, these past few years. I mean, I think we've talked about it, like the breakup I had and, you know, all these different things. And what it really allowed to happen was for a light to be shined upon me in a way where it's like You are no longer in this codependent relationship. You're on your own. You have to become the man that we just said. In the beginning, it's such a painful process, but I think after some time when you start making some traction, it's the most fulfilling and addicting thing. I think you get to a point where you not only love it for yourself, but you wanna do it for others.

Ben BeeriSo who was the person that you needed growing up? And what, like, what did that, like, what did that cause you to do over the years to try to become that person?

Paz JosefzonThat's a really good question. Do you mind repeating it?

Ben BeeriSo who was the person that you needed growing up that you wish you had growing up? And what actions did that cause you to take over the years to try to become that person?

Paz JosefzonThat's a really powerful question. I'm gonna sound it for a second because that's like you just open Pandora's box. That was a really good question. I wanna take a little more because, you know, that's like I think I think that's the question I've been trying to find or the answer I'm trying to find to that question. Right? And I don't I don't I wanna tell you what I wanted. I'm gonna you stumped me. You stumped me. Because I think I think I'm still figuring that out. And, like, you know, if I look at the person that I wish I would have had and I'm trying to become

Ben Beeriso let's break it apart. So who is the person let's go back to a point in your life where you were struggling. Like you're a child, you're, you could be seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13 years old. There's someone you wish you had by your side. Like, this person's gonna save me. This person's gonna protect me. This person's gonna walk with me hand in hand. And I know that when this person is walking side by side with me, I'm good. I'm okay. Who is that person that you wish was walking with you?

And how old were you?

Paz JosefzonYou know, I never thought I would speak about this publicly. Right? But I'm doing this because I'm genuinely hoping that it helps someone to the point of I think it's very selfish, for lack of better words, to hide the path that you're on because you could really help someone else. And I think, you know, that's like why we're here. Like, we go through hard shit to help other people go through hard shit. But the purse like, if one's like the physical person I wish I had, it was my mom. Right? She was oh god.

I don't wanna villainize her. I'll say this. And I know I know I'm probably being overly defensive over her, but I can't help it. She had a really hard childhood. Like, you could probably write a book about how horrible and horrific it was. So in comparison to her childhood, she did outstanding, A plus. Truly. Truly. Truly. Truly. Truly. A lot of the man that I am today is because of my parents, and I'm really proud of the man that I am. That being said, right, holding two things at once, it wasn't what I needed.

And she was very good at physical needs. Right? Like, I was always clean. I was always well groomed. I had the best food. I was never hungry. I was never lonely. I had friends. Like, from the outside, it was perfect. The inside, I was so hollow, and I only think now I'm realizing it. Right? And for lack of better words, I grew up and I think a lot of foreigners go through this. I don't think I'm single in my experience at all. It's that I think a lot of foreign people are have very emotionally unavailable parents.

Sorry. Emotionally immature parents. And that can or may leave a hole, and you're trying to fill that void. And you go, I don't get it. You you have you make money. You're like, I feel empty. You dress a certain way. I feel empty. You get attention. I feel empty. What is it? What the fuck am I missing? And for what I am realizing as it's unfolding in real time now that I'm going through this as true self love, self compassion. And I'm still figuring out what that looks like. You know? Like, I'm constantly the worst critic. Like, in my head, I am so mean to myself.

And, you know, in my past relationship, I was in a thirteen year relationship. Right? And from the outside, it's like, you know, you I gave her the world. Right? Like, I was there, and I bought, and I blah blah blah. And then after thirteen years, she had left, and this is probably going on a tangent, and and I hope I'm doing a good job here. But she had left, and a week later, was dating one of my best friends. And I'll say I'll say this, because for so long, when people would hear that, oh, she's this and she's that, and and I I I would always defend her. Like, why are you defending her? Because I'm like, if I was with me, I would have fucked all my friends at the same time. I would have gone gangbanged because I was such a piece of shit. Why? Because physically, yeah, I showed up, and I did all these things. And, you know, emotionally, I tried, but then in the day, like, I destroyed her emotionally.

Why? Because I destroyed myself emotionally. That's who I thought love was. I thought love was pointing out your flaws. I thought love was making you be better by stressing you out. I didn't I don't I'm still learning what gentle love is. So the person I am becoming is becoming successful person in all means, physically, relationship relationally, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, financially, through soft love, not this tough love. Because that harsh criticism can get you from point a to point b.

But if you wanna go from b to the end, that's not gonna work.

Ben BeeriIt's not gonna work. Well, it's almost not even b to the end. It's like this point, it's like, okay. There's phase one of your life, which is a to b. Yeah. And there's the next phase of your life, is, call it b to c. And then there's gonna be a point in your life where you go from c to d. And, like, there's just all these different chapters and different segments in your life. And it's interesting. I mean, you talk about being successful or being strong or learning how to love a certain way. And it's almost like you were trying to give your child self the thing that your child self needed. It's almost like you were living life for him rather than for you. It's like, let me give him this so he's okay.

You know what? It wasn't even that.

Paz JosefzonIt wasn't even that. And I know it it comes off like that. I think my inner child was buried so deeply. I didn't know he existed. And we talk about the money, but, you know, maybe this is a more spiritual whatever. But, like, now, financially, I'm really struggling. Because what took me from point A to point B, that's not the same skill set from point B to point C. And that same skill set caused me to go into lawsuits, caused me to have high turnover rates with my employees, caused all these issues where now I'm like, Oh, that's not working.

And going back to that inner child, I only, I think, more recently started understanding what that is. Right? I think I think that term gets thrown out a lot. And, you know, you see a lot of, like, female influencers online that kind of talk about it, like your inner child and you want to heal it. I think I think inner child is a good way to visualize it so you have a target you're moving towards. I think a better term I wanna think about this for a second, but I think a better way of looking at it is like I feel like I have the I I don't know how I would call it because I think people tend to I'm assuming when I say people I'll I'll I'll I'll speak on my experience. I think when I think inner child, it's either being overly compassionate to the point of enabling or overly strict to the point of harming.

I think maybe the right word is balance. Find that inner balance and that inner peace. Does that make sense?

Ben BeeriCan you elaborate on that? Yeah.

Paz JosefzonSo when I think of balance, I think of being able to be really intense and then being really calm. Being able to love and nurture yourself, but also not going so far where you're enabling yourself. For instance, I deserve a sweet treat. Okay. Let me stop at one candy, not the whole bag. So I think I think what people look for or or or what I look for is balance, the yin and yang, and also peace, but also channeling our energy in the right ways.

Ben BeeriIt's interesting because we all have this, like, inner child. And I I again, I could speak I can speak for myself on this. I feel like my inner child has been trying to be, like, seen, like, understood since I was a child. Yeah. And it's like, okay. All of a sudden, I'm five years old. I'm bringing a newspaper to class. Not understood. I'm not understood by my peers, my fellow students, my classmates. I'm not understood by my teachers. I'm getting sent to the principal's office because I am considered to be disruptive to the class, to the learning environment.

Sometimes I'll ask questions that are completely off topic. Sometimes I'll ask questions that are on topic because I'm curious and I want to learn about life or whatever is going on. And how can I apply these different things to my life? And I'm not understood by my parents. I'm not understood by all these different people. And, like, I feel like on my journey, I've almost had to kind of look back and, like, me right now, 30 year old Ben, can I reach my hand back and just grab my five year old, six year old, seven year old, eight year old self's hand? Just, hey, like, I got you, bro. Like, if you fall, I will help you back up. I understand you.

And I feel like the person that I always wanted to be understood by, I spent all these years becoming. And the person who understands eight year old men, 10 year old men, 12 year old men was never going to be a classmate of mine. It was never gonna be a teacher of mine. It never gonna be a principal of mine. It was never gonna be my parents. The person who ultimately was able to understand 12 year old Ben

Paz Josefzonwas 30 year old Ben. Wow. Wow. You know what's amazing about that? As you're saying it, I'm, like, really, um, sorry. I'm, like, really I'm really thinking about that in the sense of, like, again, speaking of my experience because I I don't wanna speak for other people. I don't know what other people go through. Right? I can only assume. It's that I noticed for me, like, I tried to fill my my wound by external validation. Right? So it's like, does this person notice me? Am I respected? Am I liked? Am I appreciated?

If I go above and beyond, I'll for sure be liked. If I am overly I have really solid boundaries, no one can fuck with me. But at the end of the day, I think it's for people like myself who tend to chase external validation, you will never get it until you validate yourself. You just it's impossible. It's literally impossible. And it's also I would also add to it. I would also say it's meaningless.

Ben BeeriCan you ever get anything external? Like, period. Like, for me, like, I feel like for years, it's like, I'm trying to chase whatever is external, whether it's validation from other people, whether it's respect, maybe it's being liked, maybe it's being understood, maybe it's materialistic. Maybe if I make some money, then I will feel good about myself. If I get a new car, I'll feel good about myself. Maybe if I am viewed a certain way by people, I'll feel good about myself. And in my experience, all the external stuff really just became like an illusion for what I thought I could get or achieve or want or experience.

And really, once I realized that the external stuff is literally all an illusion, I'm like, bye. This is gone. I now need to learn what I can channel from an internal standpoint because that's all that actually is. The rest is just an illusion.

Paz JosefzonYou know what just clicked for me as you're saying that? I realized why I look for external validation. Okay. I believe a big reason of it, and it just hit me right now. It just it just you hit me with this realization. It's, um, I don't trust myself, so I look for feedback externally to see if I'm doing a good job.

Ben BeeriWhy don't you trust yourself?

Paz JosefzonBecause growing up, the model that I had, the people that were close to me, they were really sure of themselves internally and were like, I am this way, and I'm this way, and I'm that way, and never took external feedback. They weren't what they said they were. And I am so frightened of becoming a person that's like that, that goes, yeah, I'm a good person. Of course, I'm a great person. I'm an amazing person. I don't listen to external feedback. I know this is a very extreme thing, but I take in the external all the time to make sure that I'm okay because what I modeled myself after, I think I'm looking and developing what that strong internal state is.

Ben BeeriIt's interesting because I always viewed things as, can I go out and earn my self worth? Really? Can I go out and relate to people or connect with people in a way where this happens, I will feel worthy? And then I was always clinging to a result. It was all contingent on a result. Is this person my friend? Are they wanting to spend time with me? Is there a business deal that's going to close? If the business deal closes, I am worthy. If the deal doesn't close, I am not worthy. Am I seen, respected, understood, loved, all these different things? And again, contingent on the result.

If I am, I am worthy. If I am not, I am not worthy. Yeah. And I feel like what shifted for me at a certain point in time was I don't need to earn my self worth. I just need to become it. Where do you feel like you learned that to earn your self worth? I felt like I had to earn my self worth because I felt like when I was a kid and I was misunderstood and there wasn't anybody for me to turn to, that I had to provide a specific value to somebody for them to see my worthiness. I have to give or I have to do something or I have to prove that I am worthy to somebody else. I had to prove my worth.

If I gave you grapes at snack time when we were kids, all of a sudden, now I had value because you wanted grapes and I had grapes and I gave them to you. So you had to view me as valuable. You had to be my friend in my eyes. If I became successful and all of a sudden, hey, look, here's Ben. Ben has access to different experiences that are cool. Ben can provide this kind of a time for me. Ben can provide this material thing for me. Being around Ben elevates my status. I'm now worthy. I have value.

Other people see me, but they don't actually see me. They see what they can get by being around me. And then the whole thing, again, it's just an illusion. It's not authentic. It's me just building this artificial self worth and feeling like I can earn it. But at the end of the day, when the mask comes off and the armor comes off, I'm still Ben. I didn't earn that self worth. My mask and my armor earned that self worth. And I realized I'm like, at some point, I gotta take off the mask, take off the armor, throw it off to the side, and become my self worth rather than trying to earn it from other people or, like, performances or proving something or material things.

And there is nothing that I could do to earn it. I literally just had to sit with myself and internalize it and become it.

Paz JosefzonThat's really powerful because, you know, as you're talking, I'm thinking that as adults, like, we're just giant children playing in a playground. Because what you're saying is, like, you know, I I think about when I was a kid, and there's someone like one of my friends had really good food, I really wanted it, and I would hover to him because his mom made really cool food, like Asian food. I could see how that gives a higher perception of self worth. But today, if a guy has money and access to cool things, then he gets more of that same attention from other guys and girls and whatnot.

But to your point, that doesn't fulfill you, and it's the mask. But then how do you know who you truly are?

Ben BeeriI think you gotta I mean, again, this is a process for everyone, including myself.

Paz JosefzonYeah.

Ben BeeriI am still learning each and every day I discover something new about myself. I mean, looking in the fucking mirror helps. Asking myself questions helps. Trying better to understand not only who I was, but who I am and who I'm going to be helps. Because there's all these different things that make up who we are. And it's almost like your past self, your present self, and your future self, your highest self is present with you at all times. And it's almost like there's this, like, everything that goes down, everything you encounter, any interaction, any thought, there's almost like this internal board meeting between your past self That's so funny. Your present self and your future self, like your highest self. Yeah. Like the greatest version of Ben that possibly exists in whatever time in the future.

And there's a decision being made And So funny. Your little self, your past self is advocating for its needs. I wanna be seen. I wanna be understood. I wanna feel worthy. Yeah. I want people to notice me. And my present self is advocating, like, what are my current needs? Like, what do I want right now? Like, what am I trying to earn? What am I trying to see? What am I trying to be? What am I and and then your highest self is, like, basically, like, yo, like, both of y'all, calm the fuck down. Like, the way you get to become me is by releasing these things, releasing these external things, releasing the armor, releasing the mask, and being on this path that you're meant to be on.

And here's what I'm advocating for. And at the end of the day, your highest self usually is right, but usually doesn't win the board meeting. Your past self wins a lot of the board meetings by going, okay, Ben, go and give this guy grapes so you feel important. But now I'm an adult, so it's not about grapes anymore. So now it's like, okay. What am I giving this guy? I'm like, what am I doing to make this person feel like I'm important. Right? And there's your present self and your present self advocating for your current wants and needs. And your present self will win a lot of these board meetings as well.

And the question is, how can I work on increasing the percentage of the board meetings that my highest self can have the final say in and the final decision in? And it's like not about what Ben today will do 30 year old Ben. It's about this proverbial version of my highest self that exists somewhere in the future. And it's like, who knows? Maybe I'm 40. Maybe I'm 50. Maybe I'm 60. Maybe I'm a 183 and I'm fucking dead. And that's the highest version of Ben. But it's like, how does the highest version of Ben how would my highest self handle this?

And that is what I hope comes out of these proverbial board meetings. And that is how I hope that I can approach these different situations as a person.

Paz JosefzonThat was so good. That was so good. And I feel like that's so true. And I feel like what keeps most people stuck is the, why does the past keep repeating itself because your past self hasn't been integrated yet and the past self is still making the decisions. And I think the goal should be to listen to your future self or your highest self or what's best for your future, whatever angle you look at it, because that knows best. Like, now 30 year old Ben could tell six year old Ben, don't give him fucking grapes, go do your what you wanna do. Right? So I think it's about integrating your past self and tending to those needs while, looking at the future.

But all that's only done in the present moment because there is no past and there is no future. There's only the present. The present is such a powerful place. I think the most successful people get pulled towards the future. It's not about resisting the past or resisting think this is where releasing surrender comes in. It's like being a current of water. You just let go. You're like, I don't know what's going on. I feel like I'm going to die at times. Water's coming and I'm breathing. I'm okay. I'm alive. And it's going towards that future self of you. And the way that I like to think about it is when I get stuck and when I remember, it's future you on your deathbed at hopefully 120, 150 years old, and you're looking back and you're like, What was the decision that I made that I'm proud of? So let's say, for example, you're 30, 31, and it's like, Take that risk.

Approach that girl. Take that business opportunity. Those things are worth more than never doing anything at all. And I think a way to win those board meetings is to make the don't know if I said this earlier but make that uncomfortable decision because usually greatness comes from being uncomfortable and chasing discomfort. There's a difference between discomfort that is fed from your ego and fed from your soul. And what I've noticed in my experience, the best discomfort is micro discomforts, not this crazy big discomfort that it just ricochets you back because that's your ego. You know what? I'm scared of approaching girls. I'm going to approach all the girls, the hottest girls, all the time. Eventually, get exhausted. Like, I can't do that anymore. But it's like start conversation with people.

It's just going a little bit up and up in that sense. But yeah. I really like how you, uh, how you framed that. That was really good. Thank you. I'm gonna use that for sure going forward.

Ben BeeriHere we go. The pause board meetings are about to be off the charts in the future. For sure. Yeah. No. It's it's interesting. Like, I've been thinking about this a lot lately because it's like, how do you integrate your past, present, and future selves?

Paz JosefzonYeah. You know what? So my knee jerk reaction to answering that question is it's how would you handle any relationship? Right? So it's like there's compromise that has to be done. But I think the best relationships are set with intention and then set around truth. And you just follow that no matter how you feel about it, whether you're comfortable or not. Because if you look at what your needs are, in a way your needs don't really matter because our reaction as people is to be comfortable. We need to be comfortable.

But comfort isn't growth. So, you know, for instance, if if I you know, let's say let's say you you own a business, right, and you go, I wanna double my revenue this year. What do we need to do? We need to make more phone calls. We need to increase advertising budget. We have to hire more. Those are uncomfortable things that you have to do. So I think the best way to integrate them is to just to make those compromises, but on the basis of truth and of the end goal of what you want.

Ben BeeriAnd what do you feel like we can do to choose? I mean, because it seems like we're either choosing comfort or we're choosing growth. And

Paz Josefzonyou can have one or the other. I don't agree. You can have both. You think you can have both? Sure. For sure. Here's the thing because this is where I went wrong, is that I thought that growth was extremely uncomfortable. But, you know, how do the people that are the best at their thing become the best at their thing? I'll give you an example. Like, let's say tennis players. Right? To be a great tennis player, like, think you go, like, every day I wanna practice ten hours and blah blah blah. It's like, okay. Let's break it down. Like, let's break down a whole game of tennis into, like, little micro segments.

The first thing is the serve. So we're gonna practice for one month throwing the ball in the air. Then we're gonna practice for a swing. Then we're gonna so if you just take your goal and you break it down really small, the ego doesn't like it. The ego goes, no. I wanna do everything at once, but that's unrealistic. That's why it's so uncomfortable. Right? Like, I lost 80 pounds in the past few years, and it started with, okay. I'm gonna walk. Then I'm gonna cut out one thing and the next and the next and the next and the next. And I see it kind of like the frog in the hot water where, like, you put him in hot water, he jumps out, but you put him in cold water, you you slowly turn on the heat, and he stays there because he's comfortable.

So I think it's about taking your goal, breaking it down to really small steps that are very easy to do individually. Some steps may be a little bit harder than others, and give yourself a wider time than you think. Don't rush to be a millionaire in a year. Give yourself ten years. If you go ten years, yeah, that's what it takes. You wanna sustain it? Yeah. Or you could spend ten years going up and down and never getting anywhere, so choose.

Ben BeeriI like that. I like that a lot. Yeah. Yeah. True. Because we do rush things in life. Like, too many times, like, we put the horse ahead of the carriage.

Paz JosefzonYeah. Listen. There's there's there's times where you can like, I think and it's so situational, not to be contradictory, but there's times where you're like, My life is complete shit. I need to make a change now. I'm going to move cities. There's times where you have a, maybe, God forbid, a health scare, and you have diabetes and your insulin resistance is horrible. I need to cut out sugar now. I can't titrate this. There's times. I think overall, having a plan and then following the plan and doing it in a way where you enjoy the process. And I think you enjoy the process by reframing the goal.

Right? Reframing or actually preframing is such a powerful tool.

Ben BeeriWhat do you feel something in your life that, like, you've lived through using that?

Paz JosefzonI mean, now almost everything. I'll give you an I'll give you an example. Right? Also our basic I I don't know what's gonna land more. Tell me what what feels better from from your perspective because you know, let's talk about food for instance. Right? So you can be like, know, I'm gonna eat healthy, I wanna lose weight. I wanna have a six pack and then blah blah blah. But that doesn't really work long term. But if you reframe it and think, I want to feed my body intentionally with whole foods that are great and I feel great, and you have this identity around treating your body with respect, it's much easier to follow a healthy lifestyle.

You know, that's kind of generic. So I'll tell you, I think a big one for me is having had issues with my maternal figure. Right? I was able to look at myself, especially after the breakup. I was like, I have two options right now. This can be the best thing for me to have an amazing relationship with myself and my future wife, or I could become a horrible negative person because of this experience. And I think being able to, in critical moments in life, separate emotion from logic just for a moment, or if you're emotional, don't make any conclusions that are permanent, will help you pre frame the experience into something that's much better.

I think a good way of looking at it is I heard this thing, and it's like, let's say you're gonna take a sports car on a test drive. And the guy goes, listen. This car is amazing. It's rough, and you feel every bump in the road, you're driving, the tires grip the floor, and you turn, and, you know, it knocks you out of your breath, and blah blah blah blah. And he says all these great things, you're driving the car like, yeah, this is great. The car is great. I'm flooring, and I feel that tires grip the floor, and it's bumpy. I feel the road. I have good you know?

You're gonna be like, this is a great sporty car. But let's say you don't have any idea of that. You drive the car. You're like, why is the suspension so bumpy? And why is it gripping? And why is it feeling like this? And I hate it. And after the guy goes, yeah, so that car was a sports car and it was great, blah, blah, blah. You can be like, I don't want that car anymore. So I think going forward in people's lives, pre framing everything with the intention you want will make you follow a better path.

It definitely applies to the past, so you can definitely reframe the things you've been through. But I think a more powerful thing is when you're in a moment of, This can change my life, let me pre frame it in a really good way, will most likely yield you a very positive experience.

Ben BeeriInteresting.

Paz JosefzonI think also tying your identity with your decision making is so underrated. Yeah, you hear, like, ex smokers where they go they go, like if someone's like, hey. Here's a cigarette. So I mean, hey. I don't smoke. Like, I'm not a smoker. I am this. I am that. Like, identity markers and then doing the action that confirms that that's your identity. I am not a person who tolerates disrespect, even from myself. I am not a person who compromises. I am a person of excellence. I am a person of this and doing it. And, you know, I'll say this, whoever's listening if someone's listening to this and, like, you're really struggling and you're like, I I know a person of excellence, but but I can't get out of bed in the morning because I've been there. I I have had times where I wanted I literally have wanted to to kill myself. I I was in low lows.

Excellence is being excellent at whatever you're doing. So if that morning you get up and and all you can do is make the bed, that's excellence. And everything compounds off of that. I mean, you hear very successful people saying this all the time. They take a big shit and make it really small, and you go, that's all it takes to be successful? Like, that's all it takes. It's very simple, and it's easy. Just having patience and not allowing your ego to take control. And you'd be surprised, a year you make a lot more progress doing baby steps than trying to make these big leaps and bounds.

Guaranteed. Guaranteed. You take a lot of baby steps, you'll go far more ahead than people who try and take big strides,

Ben Beerifor sure. Oh, it's interesting. I mean, you think of somebody like what made Kobe Bryant great, what made Michael Jordan great, and they mastered the fundamentals, the small stuff. They weren't impressive. They weren't shooting long term, whatever. I mean, sure, yes, they were very impressive in how they played, but it didn't start that way. And they mastered the fundamentals. They mastered the footwork. They mastered the angles around the basket. They controlled the things they could control. They played hard on the defensive end.

Like, how many basketball players don't play hard on defense? Like, defense is literally effort. Like, if you're athletic and you are not, like, an elite defender, like, like, what are, like, what are you missing? Like, there's nothing like, what are you not capable, like, of? Like, I feel like if you're athletic and you're not defending in basketball, it's an effort thing. And you get out of bed. You don't make your bed. Effort. You go and you do a workout and you're spending an hour working out.

And what's the difference between giving 70% and giving a 100%? Like, you're already there. You're already working out. It's like strive to be the best that you can be. Master the small stuff. Work on, again, the small stuff and getting it right. It's like you want to run a marathon. Like, first, you just gotta put one foot in front of the other. It's like there's no one step that's gonna get you 26.2 miles. Yeah. It's like you have to take one step at a time over and over again. Yeah. And eventually, after a certain amount of time, you will have run 26.2 miles. Yeah. And you will have completed the marathon. But it's almost like we have this idea sometimes that it's like, I am in a hole.

I can't take the 26.2 mile step. I'm just not gonna take any step because I'm not gonna get there. And it's like, no, You will get there. You just have to put one foot in front of the other.

Paz JosefzonI love that so much. And, you know, I would say this. I would say there's a lot I wanna say on this. First of all, you mentioned the whole gym thing, going to the gym 70 versus 100. I would say ninety percent of success is just showing up. So if you're a person who can't even get to the gym, don't even worry about giving it 100% at the gym, just go to the gym. Even if you're there for two minutes and you leave, that was fantastic. Coming from someone who lost a lot of weight and is still losing weight, I reward myself mentally now for all my small wins.

Because just showing up honestly, that's the fundamental. That's the basics. How do you get good at the gym if you don't even show up to the gym? If you don't have the energy to go and give 100%, give 2%. You won. Great job. Seriously, really. Going back to your point about one step at a time, that goes back to being present. Not the past, not the future, how will I do 26 smiles, how will I do this one step at a time and be patient. Because so much when you're in pain, you just want it to be done. You want to sprint.

An analogy I can give is that if you're in pain, I'm going get over everything you sprint for a mile. That's a long sprint. And you rest for twenty minutes or ten minutes, and the guy that's taking one step beats you by far. That's easier. But the ego don't know if the ego is the right word, depending on how you look at it. Sometimes you're so uncomfortable, you want to channel that energy. And I would say just go at your own pace, but the most important thing is set a floor. That's the difference between amateurs and professionals.

They operate at a way higher baseline. I would say it like this. Let's say if you're someone who's trying to get I don't want to keep going through this. I feel like I'm on call to this. But let's say if you're someone who's wanting to get out of a really bad situation in life, there are times where you have extra energy. That day, you can sprint. That day, you can run 10 miles, but your floor should be two miles. Don't let the next day, the next five days be zero miles. Have a reasonable floor, two miles a day. Days that have more energy, give it 10 miles. And every incremental time that you think is better for your situation, add the extra mile until you get to your marathon.

Ben BeeriYou know, it's interesting. I think I saw somewhere, and I don't remember the exact quote or saying, but it's like, the greatest masters in the world don't rise to their, like, level of greatness, they fall to the floor of their training. And what makes them great is that their floor is higher than most people's, like, ups, downs, whatever. Their floor is just so high that if they fall to the level of their training, it's like, you can't lose. There's just gonna be that level of consistency. And that's why we see it's like Michael Phelps jumps in a pool, and he is, like, going to metal, like, every time because he has put in the work.

And he is like, his training is so strong that, like, his floor is near or even above the ceiling of most other people that are competing against him.

Paz JosefzonYeah. Yeah. You know, it's funny because the way that my mind went for a moment was, you know, I tell you about Michael Phelps and, like, you see these Olympians who they they win a gold medal and what happens after they get really depressed. And why? It's because now what? Now what? And for those people, they enjoy the reward more than the journey, and that's a really dangerous thing. And I would say if you're, again, a person who needs I don't know what you can call to this. I feel like someone maybe needs it. But if you're a person who is, really going through it right now and you're like, I just I wanna get out of it. I wanna find my soulmate. I wanna make money. I wanna be healthy again. Want whatever you're going through, whatever challenge I know it sounds fucking crazy, but if you can, in some fucked up way, enjoy that experience because you'll never get it back. You will get out of the position you're in. Like, if you're in a bad place, you're gonna get out of it guaranteed. I promise you, I sign off on it.

You will get out of it. Enjoy it because this is where the journey is. That's where the growth happens. You get to a point where you become crazy not crazy in a bad way, like crazy in a go where you enjoy this, and you keep looking for those things in other ways that actually make you grow in life. You wake up earlier. I used to wake up at ten now I'm up at five in the morning. Because I realized, Oh, through these challenges that is given to us, that's where most of the growth is. And I think a wise person would put themselves in challenges and not allow the universe to do it for you.

Because then you can I think you can really

Ben Beeritry your best to avoid unnecessary suffering and pain? Well, it's almost like we just have these just different chapters of our lives, and we just go through these different things. And some chapters are hard for us. Yeah. We find them challenging. We're going through it. It's not fun. Some chapters are filled with joy. We love them. This is great. This is amazing. Some chapters feel tedious and monotonous, and there's not really anything that we're feeling. But the one thing that they have in common is they all close. The book closes at a certain point in time.

And that thing that you're going through that is challenging and not easy. A certain point in time will just be another chapter in the book. That thing that you enjoyed, that relationship, that love, that success in business, like, that too is a chapter. It will close. And that thing that you're working really hard on, that marathon, I'm not talking about step number one. And I'm talking about the step that completes mile 26.2. I'm talking about mile point one to mile 25.1 or 26.1. Those 26 miles in between that you're not having fun with.

Just one step after the other, is also a chapter. And it closes. It will be done. You know, I'll tell you something.

Paz JosefzonAt the beginning of a marathon, everyone cheers for you. At the end, everyone cheers for you. That point one to the 26.1, that's all you. And it's so hard because no one's rooting you on. No one's cheering you on. It's you versus you. But I'm telling you, someone who's in the marathon, right? I haven't completed it yet. I'm in there with a lot of people. I'm only now realizing and understanding to love it because no one can take that away from me. No one's cheering me on right now. No one's rooting me on.

Going And back to what you're saying about the whole what you needed growing up is I think for someone to consistently cheer and root me on and be there for me. And that's what this 26 miles is. And when people go through really challenging, difficult times and really good times, you know, there's a saying this too shall pass and I really like that because you use it in both good and bad. And if you're like, why would I use that in a good time? Why would I want this to pass? Because it builds such a strong sense of self. You're so anchored that nothing around you even matters. Good and bad are both irrelevant because you're so fucking stable that nothing can shake you.

And that's peace and that's confidence and that's everything you're looking for. All of us are looking for isn't that. It's no matter what happens to me externally, whether my kids are successful or not, whether my spouse is incredible or not, whether I'm familiar or not, whether I'm this or that, whatever it is, I'm good. And I think that's what we all kind of work towards, and we put external factors as, okay, I'm good if when my kid is this. I'm good when I lose 20 more pounds. I'm good when I find this bubble. I'm good when I'm healthy. I'm good when I'm this.

If you can be in this storm and be good, you won. And if you can be in good and you're good in the good, you also won because speaking for myself, when things are good, I'm like, I'm I'm just waiting. One is when is the when is the illusion over? Right? So if you can be good, whether you're in life, if you're in the bad place or in the good place, you could be good regardless, you fucking won.

Ben BeeriI love that. Yeah. There's no good. There's no bad. There just is. Is. And just yeah. It's like and what what can you, like where can you just be

Paz Josefzonrock solid, like, regardless of what's going on? Like, there's nothing to really strive for. It's it's it's the mundane middle. It's a 26 miles. It's from point one to 26.1. That's where you learn it. That's where you learn it.

Ben BeeriIt really defines who you are. Like, it's so interesting. Like, you, like, put all that together and it's like and you tie that back to, like, being that inner child and, like, going back and, like, walking beside that inner child. It's like, that's what it is. That's what the childhood is. You're born. Everybody loves you. Your mom's holding you. So true. Everybody's excited. It's crazy. It's like, there it is. Point one. Yeah. Yeah. All of a sudden you pass that point one. It's like, guess what? Fast forward to you're like fucking five years old. It's like, guess what?

You got a fucking face whatever the hell you've got going on. And you build all these traumas and you build all these walls and you, all these things happen in your life. And nobody's coming to save you. You want somebody to come and save you, and nobody's coming to save you. And that point one to that 26.1 will last an infinite amount of time until you decide to cross that fucking finish line. Yeah. And the day you decide that your 26 mile gap is over and you reach that hand back to grab your past That's good.

You reach your hand back to grab your past self and you say, hey, let's walk across this finish line together. It's like, you're good. You're done. The healing that you've wanted to offer yourself is there. You get to walk across the finish line because you can walk your past self across that finish line. Your past self has been waiting that entire life for someone to walk him across the finish line and say, you are no longer. There is no more past self. There's this present self. And he's just sitting there and waiting. And it could take you ten years. It could take you twenty years. It could take you thirty years. It could take you forty, fifty, sixty. Some people will die and never reach mile 26.2 and cross that finish line.

They get up to 26.1 and spin in circles for the rest of their life because they're not willing to face everything that happened and just walk across that finish line. And sometimes you just have to tell yourself, this chapter is over. This book is closed. I am walking across that finish line. And you, who is there in the past and has been there with me all along, you're coming with me. Our finish line is here, and you walk across it.

Paz JosefzonYou know, you're speaking and my body is covered in goosebumps, and it's so true. And I feel like you just spoke to me in such a level, and I'm so appreciative for you saying that because I share my experience because hopefully it really helps, and I feel like that's what I needed to hear. So thank you. Genuinely. Like, genuinely, think you just, like, healed something inside of me. Thank you. I feel like I just crossed a marathon, but wow. Honestly, I'm so dude, I love you. Thank you so much. Like, no. That was that was that was that was incredible. But I wanna add to that.

Two things. The marathon is tedious. Right? But the sec the the the cool thing about this emotional thing if you're in pain, The second you decide the marathon's over, it's over. The finish line moves to you. Because once you make that conscious decision, everything unfolds. Everything unfolds and it becomes easy. Not that it's easy and you're not feeling pain. The pain is It's a good pain. It's a growing pain. It's an amazing pain. It's a purposeful pain. It's not a broken arm pain. It's I went to the gym pain.

So the second you decide it's over, it's over. But I'll add one more thing to what you said. Hugo, you said, It's only you, and you're right. But something I think you miss is that God's always with you. And I'll say to my personal experience, there was a time years ago I was going through a really, really, really, really hard time, and I had concluded I was like I'm gonna kill myself. I'm not living. I am done. I am out of here. 26 year old me is done not doing this. Fuck that. And I and I surrendered to that I was gonna do it.

And I remember I was in so much pain during this phase of my life that every second torture. I'll never forget it. The next day I woke up and it was this much better. Just enough. And I got a little bit better and a little bit better and a little bit better and a little bit better and now it's amazing! I love every moment of life! And I say that because in those moments when I felt alone, looking back, I'm like, Oh, I wasn't alone. I was never alone. That's an illusion. God was with me. This higher power is with me.

I know someone listens to this and they're like, What are you talking about? What is God? Why am I suffering? What is this? I was the same way. And I'm not saying to be dogmatic about spirituality or God in a way of like modern day religion has made religious people, in my experience, feel isolated or rules and guilt and shame. It's that anyone listening to this, I highly encourage you to really look at the human body, how our minds work, how our bodies literally work. There's a book I strongly suggest for anyone it's called Psycho Cybernetics, and it's a book written by a plastic surgeon. He's like, Why do some people get surgery, let's say a nose job, and are confident some people say the same? And he's like, Obviously, surgery isn't it it's an identity thing. He talks about how the brain and body works and so on I won't get into that, but if you understand that you are perfect, you are unable to be recreated, AI has nothing on you, literally, doctors don't understand how you work, scientists don't understand how you work, no one knows how we work. But the more we learn, the more we know how complex and incredible

we are. You go, wait a minute. Who made this? Who made this? And you go, The Creator that made me made me incredible. And once you know that and it clicks, nothing can fuck with you. Because this is taken from the book. The same way and I want everyone to really land hard. Hard. Okay? The same way that animals have instincts a squirrel right, born in spring knows to store nuts for winter. Or a bird, there's no pioneer bird that goes, I'm gonna map it out. We're gonna flower the ocean. It's an instinct. Animals have instinct. Surprise! Humans have instincts.

They're not just physical of eating and reproducing and all those things. The instincts of humans are also spiritual in a sense where we have imagination. You can imagine something I imagine my life to look like X. And it will happen instinctually. You have to hold onto the last image enough. And man is created in God's image. Man is like God. Our imagination is our most God like feature. So if you're in a bad place and you're struggling and imagine you a better life, it's done. Just hold on to that image and everything will uncover.

Ben BeeriGuaranteed. Guaranteed. That's when God walks you across the finish line. Yeah. Exactly.

Paz JosefzonBoom. That's when future you or your dad or your mom walks you across that finish line.

Ben BeeriThat's the beautiful thing. It's like, where can you see the finish line? And who are you going to allow to walk you across it if you're not gonna walk across it yourself? Because at some point, you need to cross that finish line. You will. And that proverbial finish line is like, will you walk across it yourself? Or is it going to be your future self that pulls you across it? Or is it going to be God that pulls you across it? Is it going to be your parents that pull you across it? Is it going to be your friends that pull you across it? Like at some point, that line is in front of you.

And it's worth crossing because that's when you break the trap and life begins and everything past that line is unknown, but it's not whatever hell that you're trapped in. Yeah.

Paz JosefzonYou know, I would add to what you're saying in that in my opinion, everyone crosses that finish line. But are you gonna get dragged through it and get through their bleeding and in pain? Or are you gonna get up and walk? Because everyone deserves an amazing life. Everyone deserves peace and love and abundance in the ways that they want it. Everyone does. And just know that if you're in a place of pain, then you're being redirected into a better path. And if you're in a place that's great, thank God, enjoy every moment of it. Just enjoy. Don't want more.

Don't feel guilty. Just enjoy it because you deserve it. You deserve it because you have it.

Ben BeeriI think that's a really big one. I think so often we don't allow ourselves to believe that we deserve something positive that is happening to us, like, in our lives. Like, we don't deserve it. Like, I am not worthy of this. Like, why is this happening to me? Like or what like, we sit there and we worry, like, when is this going to be taken away from me? Like, the way my life has gone, like, these things don't happen to me. I don't deserve them. And it's like and it's interesting to just come up with a state of mind or the frame of mind where it's like, this is happening.

This is amazing. I deserve this.

Paz JosefzonYou know what's so funny? It's that when you say it, I'm like, that's stupid. But I think like that to myself constantly. And I just realized that hearing it from the outside, you realize how stupid those thoughts are. Not you, those thoughts are. Because if when you said that, I'm like, why would you not be deserving of whatever you want? You're an amazing person. I can very clearly see it. But when it comes to yourself and it's in your mind and it stuck in this loop, you're like, I don't deserve it. And then you can't fight it. And I think what's a really good practice that I'm going to commit myself to do is when I have stupid thoughts or unproductive thoughts, I'm going to journal them or put them on my notes app and I'm going look at them later and be like, That has no place in my brain and just let it die outside of me. If it comes back, I'll keep killing it. Because you just realize that's such a dumb thing.

It's just a dumb thing. You don't need to earn worthiness or love or deserving. You have to work towards things for sure. For sure, right? I want to be wealthy. Okay, go work towards it. You have to. But being worthy of it is different. I think we're worthy of everything.

Ben BeeriIt's true. And it's really, really interesting. Like, I look at my own life path, and, like, there's so many times where I just felt a lack of worth. Like, I just did not deserve something that was happening that was positive. And it's anytime I would get it, it's like, can I keep it? Can I hold it? Like, when is this going to slip away? Like, this is too good to be true. And it's like, now I look at it, it's like, something amazing is happening. Thank you. I'm going to hold it. And when it's meant to go, I'll release it and allow the next thing to come in.

Paz JosefzonThat's a beautiful thing. I believe a beautiful thing is just experiencing things and not possessing or owning it because we don't possess our own anything, including our own bodies. We eventually all leave this earth. So everything is just meant to be experienced. So I think what's really important is to be present and experience everything fully because this too shall pass.

Ben BeeriThis too shall pass. Yeah. And we've had a hell of a podcast episode, and this too shall pass. Yeah. And I think we just get to leave people with such incredible wisdom. And I really enjoyed the conversation that we were having here today, and I'm excited for people to listen to it and hear the different perspectives that you've had to share, which were incredible. Uh, pause. Where can our audience connect with you further if they wanna hear more from you?

Paz JosefzonYou know, I'm not really on social media too much or anything. I try to stay off of it because if I'm not producing, I don't want to consume. So right now I I have Instagram. I don't really use it. But right now, nowhere. In the future, maybe we'll see where that, uh, you know, marathon takes me, but, um, I really appreciate this. This is awesome. You have a really good perspective. Amazing.

Ben BeeriWell, Paz Josefzon, ladies and gentlemen, really amazing conversation. If you guys enjoyed what you heard today or anything resonated with you, we'd love for you to share this episode with your friends so they can hear some of Paz's perspectives. Give us a like. Give us a comment. Let us know what you think of the episode. I'm your host, Ben Beeri. You can connect with me on Instagram at benbeeri, b e n b e e r I. And we'll see you on the next episode of the Authentic Journey.